Enlightening. Empowering. Healing.
Clients currently have a choice of in-person or virtual appointments. In-person sessions are located at 1400 Renaissance Drive, Suite 305, Park Ridge. Unfortunately, at this time my schedule does not allow in-home visits.
Not all insurance plans are covering virtual appointments as they once did. Some plans will only cover virtual appointments through their proprietary platform. It’s a good idea to verify coverage of virtual sessions with your insurance company first.
Seriously.
I’m not selling anything, nor is this a quick fix. While their simplicity may make you want to roll your eyes or to not try this, below are two simple things as close as your thoughts that can lift your mood and make bad days better. No workouts or salads or white-knuckle willpower. Does it get any better than that?
If you’re really miserable, write twice a day. If things are that bad, you may write only 3 things, keeping in mind that you’re going to work your way up to 5 or more.
Frequently people respond to this with a look like they’re trying not to roll their eyes. “It’s too simple. What good will this do?”
“Please, just try it. If it doesn’t help, you can always go back to being miserable.”
You don’t need a special journal, and technically you don’t even need to write it at all. Writing will help you get this habit started, and it’s a way to tell your brain that it’s time to think about something else now.
The nice thing about this task is that you can do it in boring meetings, when your kids are acting out, or your partner didn’t do what you asked. You can do it while driving (excellent for Chicago traffic), while “powdering your nose,” or anytime you need to reboot your brain. Personally, I prefer to do this when I’m falling asleep and while waiting for the morning coffee to kick in.
The list doesn’t have to be anything major, and keeping it simple is best. When you do this for 30 days, you’ll find yourself seeing situations differently. Keep doing it, and it can transform your thoughts and thereby transform how you live in this world.
And if that doesn’t motivate you, prove me wrong.
I’ve alluded to the importance of humor in previous posts. This is another way to redirect your thoughts, especially worrisome and depressing ones. It won’t cure depression, but it will offer relief, even if it’s only for the time you’re laughing.
I believe humor is so important that I assign this to depressed clients. When I went through a major depressive episode twenty years ago, before I became a social worker and therapist, laughter would have been a welcomed tool. Maybe its simplicity is why none of the professionals ever suggested it. And when someone is depressed, laughing is not one of the things you’ll naturally move toward. You have to be reminded to do it.
Obviously, you don’t have to be depressed to benefit from laughing. In our stressful world of overbooked schedules and instant access to the latest news, we could all use a laugh break.
Schedule time to do this. Half an hour is great, as it’s the length of a sit-com with commercials. And with YouTube, Netflix and other streaming you should be able to catch something funny.
Back in the day of printed newspapers one could turn to the comics section. Now you can go on Facebook or Instagram. Find a meme that cracks you up. Or an image that can stick in your mind, like the cat on this post. If it helps, print the image and post it as your wallpaper or on your refrigerator or at your desk. A LinkedIn contact posts daily jokes, and it’s one of the first things I look for every morning.
It’s ok to laugh out loud and it can be even better to do it in public. Back in the dinosaur days of printed newspapers and my marriage, the husband would get frustrated when I’d laugh at the comics. His response made me laugh even harder. Guess there’s a reason that relationship didn’t work out…
Eventually you’ll find yourself laughing, or maybe only “smiling out loud” at something funny that happened. For me, I can’t tell a joke to make my way out of a paper bag. And I laugh at all the punch lines I’ve blown. Once upon a time telling jokes to a crowd of people was part of my job. That was one of the hardest things I ever did, not because I did it in front of a crowd of people, but because remembering punch lines was really hard. Memories of people politely looking at me when I thought I nailed it still crack me up.
Just a warning, as we’re trying to make things better here, not worse. Do your best to find things to laugh about that aren’t hurting others. Animal memes are great as they’re generally not offensive and shouldn’t get you in trouble. Political humor can be ok, provided you keep it private or share only with like-minded individuals. Humor doesn’t have to make America’s Great Divide any worse.
There. Now go and do and let me know how it goes.
My grandmother had an infectious laugh. She lived with us for the last year of her life, when I was 11. Sunday dinners after church were a big deal for my family. Everyone was home, and we ate at the table instead of on TV trays.
After dinner and before the table was cleared, my grandmother would find something to laugh about. She said it was good for the digestion. And it was true that our tummies felt better after the belly laughs that followed those filling meals.
Humor remains an important part of my life, and the more tough times I’ve survived, the more laughter has become a daily priority.
As a therapist, I often assign laughter to clients. Yes, it’s a challenge for those who are depressed. And everyone who has gotten this assignment has found it helpful. Here’s how it works. Give yourself a dedicated period of time. Half an hour is great (and the length of a sit-com), but even 10 minutes to look through old Far Side cartoons is OK, too. The important thing is that it has to be dedicated and focused time. If you’re listening to a CD, it’s ok to be driving, but you need to make the commitment to focus on what you’re hearing. Laugh hard every day for a week.
Now this is not going to take the place of exercise or therapy or other interventions for depression, grief or melancholy. But it will offer some relief and perspective. That little bit of perspective can make a big difference in your healing.
Please try it, even if you’re not feeling depressed.
For a place to start, here are some favorite ways my family and I meet our daily requirement for laughter:
Modern Family episodes
Pet shaming
Parenting memes
I Love Lucy episodes
The Far Side comics
Marx brothers movies
The Simpsons
Internet kittens and puppies
This blog is intended as a way for you to learn my therapy style and to know before you pick up the phone if I may be a good fit for you.
So first up, let’s start with a definition of health. For most of us, we may struggle to come up with a succinct definition and say, “I’d know it when I see it.” The best definition of it I’ve ever heard: health is the capacity to love and to work. This is an excellent starting point for our work; it’s a way to measure progress, and if you have a better definition, we can use that.
People see therapists because something in their life isn’t working. Let’s say we’re meeting for the first time; you’ll probably explain a little about what’s bothering you, or “the problem.” Then we’ll likely discuss the impact it has on your life, and sometimes people get stuck there. My style is to use your inherent strengths to move you through “the problem” to the solution. At some point, probably early on, I’ll likely ask you to take a strengths test.
It’s also important, at least the way I work, to have goals. Maybe you want to be happier, or to get a better job, or to be less anxious. These are great goals, and if you have other, bigger goals, let’s talk about them!
Our work is designed to be confidential. You, the client, have the right to share, or to allow me to share, your information. Most people use their insurance to pay for most the cost of therapy; please note that in order for you to do so, you’ll give me permission to let your insurance company know that we’re working together. Your insurance company will ask me to describe “the problem” in terms of a mental health diagnosis. If you don’t want to share this information with an insurance company, then you may pay privately.
And if you’re at risk of hurting yourself or others, then I must break confidentiality.
There’s a lot more to a therapy experience, and this is a good start.